In the movies, depression is larger than life. It’s those dark moods that look almost romantic. Those dramatic displays of sadness with lots and lots of angst and tears. But depression symptoms in real life can be much less camera-worthy, and much harder to spot.
Picture a giant blob of heavy gray Jell-O sitting on top of you. You can try to push up on it, or poke into it, but it just oozes itself back into all the space you made. That is how depression often feels to me. It’s heavy, it’s flattening, and nothing I do while I’m in it seems to matter. When nothing matters, it’s almost impossible to have hopes, desires, cares, or opinions. And without those things, life is the opposite of dramatic. In fact it’s not very lifelike at all.